(1984)
I've watched this movie countless times over the years thanks to a VHS copy I scored from a closing video store. Now, I actually own this movie on DVD! It's part of a four pack from Scream Factory. I've never even heard of the other three movies, but they seem right up my alley.
When I put the movie in, I noticed something weird. All my life, I remember the credits starting first thing. On the DVD, however, we get a cold open. I was confused, and was telling my wife that I didn't remember any of what we were seeing. Paul (our hero), was chasing a woman through a bunch of corridors. When he finally catches up to her, she immediately disrobes. Completely naked. I really think I would remember full frontal nudity like that.
Once the credits start up, I noticed the title card was Ragewar, and not Dungeonmaster. I fired up the VHS version, and sure enough, that scene was not there.
The movie itself tells the story of a computer genius who can use his glasses and a remote connection to his computer X-CALBR8 to do things like change traffic lights so he doesn't have to slow down on his daily run.
After his girlfriend Gwen comes over for dinner (and is proposed to, but doesn't give an answer), they go to sleep. Paul has a weird dream, and when he wakes up, she is gone! He goes into the living room, only to be magicked away by Bull from Night Court, also known as Mestema (or the Debil)
Mestema sets Paul up against seven challenges, and if he survives, he and Gwen are free to go. If not, the Devil gets their souls. Simple enough concept. Each of these challenges were written and directed by different people, making this an anthology of sorts. Paul has to defeat frozen people, like Jack the Ripper. He has to fight five undead creatures. He has to save Gwen from a serial killer and the band WASP.
Seriously. He even defeats them through the power of sound (Mestema gave Paul a wrist mounted version of X-CALBR8. Oh, he also calls Paul by the name Excalibrate.)
He has to defeat a giant Harryhausen-esque giant statue.
And then there's the Mad Max ripoff with plywood cars.
There is also the final showdown with Mestema, but that is probably the most boring part of this thing.
I have much love for this movie. I know how terrible it is, and that's why I said on a previous occasion that it would be perfect for RiffTrax.
I know this movie isn't great, but I am blinded by my love for it.
