Sunday, August 7, 2016

My Updated Top Ten RiffTrax B-Movies List


Last May, I updated my ten list of my favorite RiffTrax B-Movie releases.  I had a pretty solid list built, but there have been so many excellent releases since then.  I felt it was time to once again update my list.

I started trying to work on this list over a month ago.  Between personal time constraints and trying to figured out what to add and remove from my list, I am finally ready to present it to you.  For someone who is as big of a fan of RiffTrax as I am, this is exhausting!  There hasn't been a single riff that I've watched that I haven't enjoyed, and trying to pick my favorites from ten years worth of content is difficult.

I did finally manage to get this finalized.  For now.


This is one that I have brought up before.  I can't even count the number of times I have watched this riff.  Every time I turn it on, my wife leaves the room.  She just can't take it anymore.  Not that I can blame her though.

Ever since I was first shown this dumpster fire of a movie, I had been waiting for it to be riffed.  It finally has, and it has been completely worth the wait!

This movie has it all: Bad acting, bad stunts, bad directing, bad writing, and one of the worst wigs ever!

They even recently released a sequel.  And it co-stars Tommy Wiseau.


Rock'N'Roll.  Drugs.  Orphans.  Motorcycle Ninjas.  Tae Kwon Do.  Friendship.  Miami Connection.  On its own, this movie was a special kind of bad.  It is great fun to watch by itself.  Adding in the riffing (and the fact that this was a live show) just makes it that much more entertaining.


This movie must have come from someone who heard someone talking about The Terminator and Robocop, decided to make a movie combining the two, but had never actually seen The Terminator or Robocop.

A scientist names Coldyron (pronounced Cold Iron, Not Coldey Ron) is working on a robot police officer, and oopsie!  Things go haywire, and the android is off to murder criminals.  Or just people he thinks did something wrong.

At least R.O.T.O.R.'s one weakness is car horns!


When I brought this one up before, I mentioned that it was one of the best riffs the guys have ever done.  I stick to that still today.  It's another that I have re-watched countless times, and I really don't see myself ever tiring of it.  For me, this is my Pod People.

This is also now available free to Amazon Prime members!

Re-reading this list, I realize the last statement might go over a few heads, so let me 'splain.  When it comes to episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, I have some that I watch over and over again. Pod People was one of them.


Six.  That is the number of times I have written about this movie now.  This time, however, it's different!  It's the Live show, and the middle movie is Jack and the Beanstalk!  And there are some insane Christmas shorts!

And just because I can, here's that almost 20 minutes long thing I made of the guys doing the ICB's laugh in rounds.




I honestly never thought I would see anything more insane than the Ice Cream Bunny.  Was I ever wrong.

The first time I watched this, I started at around 1 AM.  Because of the late hour, I started dozing on the couch while watching.  I kept coming to throughout the movie, and I honestly couldn't tell if I was awake or if my brain was showing me this weird fever dream.  Even after a multitude of repeated viewings, I'm not sure if what I am watching is real or not.

If you haven't watched this, you absolutely need to take a trip on down to Balloon Land, U.S.A.

This movie is a terrible little film about, well, the last slumber party for a group of girls who just got out of school for the year.  I think.  They might have graduated, but there was no ceremony.  Maybe they had to take correspondence classes over the summer in order to get their diplomas.  I don't know.  Anyway, they have a slumber party, and a patient from a nearby hospital comes to kill them all.  The house where the sleepover takes place belongs to the patient's doctor, and he wants to kill good ole' doc and his loved ones.

This movie has pathetic special effects, horrible acting, a rockin' 80's hairband soundtrack, and a double twist ending that would make M. Night's head spin.

The previous number one has been dethroned!

This movie has it all: Cottage Cheese Man, a demon clown doll, a creepy little girl, Ham Radio, and an "OH MY GOD" yell that rivals Troll 2.

Since the first top ten list, I got this riff on DVD, and was pleasantly surprised to learn that the DVD comes with the option to watch the movie without riffs!

It isn't as painful to watch sans riff as Manos (Yeah, I watched it un-riffed and while sober. Never again.), but there really isn't any reason to watch that way.

As soon as I saw this was being released, I knew immediately that it would be in my top ten.  I loved this movie as a kid.  Once I got older and watched it again, I realized how bad it was, and I fell in love with it all over again.

This movie has a kid being trained by the ghost of Bruce Lee so that he can take on the typical 80's fat kid bully, cocky boyfriend of the girl he likes, and Jean-Claude Van Damme.  As they say, "some movies have it coming."  This one certainly did.

And I love every minute of it.


And there you have it.  My current top ten RiffTrax B-movie list.

In closing, I would like to once again stress the importance of buying these riffs.  Mike, Bill, Kevin, and the rest of the writers (like Conor, Molly, Sean, and the other Mike) work really hard to bring this level of entertainment to us all.  I mean, they are the poor souls who have to sit and watch these movies over and over again without the benefit of the riffs.  That is more than worth the extremely reasonable price tags on these movies.  And if you do get these riffs by other means, you can still throw some money their way by heading to the donations page.

Another great way to support these guys is by going to the RiffTrax Live events.  Right now, we are in the middle of the 2016 RiffTrax Live season.  The upcoming live shows are Mothra on August 18 (with a replay on August 23), and Carnival of Souls on October 27.

Previous RiffTrax Lists

Five Must-Have RiffTrax Shorts
Five Must-Have RiffTrax Video on Demand Movies
Five More Must-Have RiffTrax Shorts
Son of Must-Have RiffTrax Shorts
Five Must-Have RiffTrax VoDs 2: Die (Laughing) Harder
My Original Top Ten RiffTrax VoD List
My Second Top Ten B-Movies List
Three Movies Perfect For RiffTrax
RiffTrax Halloween Movie Playlist
RiffTrax B-Movies to Watch Instead of The Oscars
RiffTrax Christmas Marathon Playlist
Three More Movies Perfect For RiffTrax
RiffTrax 10th Anniversary Best of the Worst Fan Poll
at