Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejected NFL Drinks: NFC East

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

It's week two of the NFL season, and that means it is time for part two of our eight part series of Rejected NFL Drinks.  We are going to have a rejected drink for every team in the league, and we're going through a division at a time.

Today, we're going through the NFC East.

Dallas Cowboys

A.K.A. Ego of Jerry

• 16 oz Pace Salsa
• 40 oz Colt 45
• 750 ml (1 fifth) Jim Beam

Chug the salsa.

Chug the whiskey.

Chug the beer.

YEE-HAW! SHOOT DANG! ~BANG BANG~ BANDWAGON FANS!

Washington Redskins

A.K.A. Racist Owner

• 1 can Creamed Corn
• 1 Cigarette
• 8 oz. Platte Valley Corn Whiskey
 (Moonshine) 

Mix the creamed corn (maize), and mix it in a pitcher with the corn (maize) whiskey.

Take all of the tobacco out of the cigarette.  Sprinkle into the pitcher and stir some more.

Drink, and continue pretending your team name isn't a racial slur.

Philadelphia Eagles

A.K.A. The Yellow Snow

• 6 oz. Imperial Whiskey
• Crushed Ice

Pour some of the whiskey over the ice, until it resembles some snow that got some nice, dark, dehydrated pee in it.

Eat, and enjoy the warming feeling of hatred as you embrace being the worst fans ever.

Alternately, you can form into snow balls to chuck at the next Santa you encounter.

New York Giants

A.K.A. Down With JPP

• 1.5 oz Fireball Whiskey
• 1.5 oz After Shock
• 1.5 oz El Matador Tequila
• Red Pepper Flakes (the kind you get with delivery pizza)
• 1 strand Cinnamon Dental Floss
• 1 Ladyfinger Cookie

This drink is the Bootleg Firecracker with the addition of a ladyfinger.

Up next: the AFC North.

Previous Divisions:

AFC East