Patrice Wilson is a Panda for Halloween in New Video - Chinese Food

This morning, I woke up to something that totally makes me want to crawl right back in bed.  Maybe even pull the covers up over my face and weep for the future of humanity.  That something is the latest "music video" released by Patrice Wilson, the man behind such abominations as Friday and Thanksgiving.  This time, it's a little girl singing about how much she loves Chinese Food.  And yes, it might be a little racist.


If you didn't bother watching that(and I totally don't blame you for that), here are some "highlights" that you missed.

Magic Noodles

The video starts out with a random asian guy ranting about something in the kitchen.  He's making noodles.  At the end of his rant, a rainbow rises out of the noodles.

I guess that's your clue that something special is coming.

The Subtitles

This video is subtitled, but the subs are not consistent with one language.  I'm pretty sure I saw some Arabic in there, among others.  It's a really strange move, even for Patrice.

Making it Rain

Alison likes chow mein so much, she makes it rain.  I wonder if she knows what it means to make it rain?

Alison Gets Cranky

Much like an infant who needs to be fed, Alison admits that she gets a little cranky when she's hungry.

Patrice is a Panda

Yes folks, Patrice does it again.  He successfully out-pedos himself once again.  This time, he's a furry.  Between playing Monoply with a bunch of little girls while in a pands suit, he also decides that it's a good idea to tickle Alison after spinning her until they both fall down.

Now go, and spread the message of Chinese Food like the plague.  And no, I'm not saying actual Chinese food is like the plague, just this particular Chinese Food.