The Stuff
(New World Pictures, 1985)
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I need to warn you that if you don’t like the ‘80s, you probably shouldn't watch this movie. Watching it is like being punched in the face by the entire decade. Especially the commercials for The Stuff. They are full of women wearing fur coats and bathing suits, and men and women wearing tights with leg warmers while dancing and playing basketball. There is even a commercial in the movie making fun of the old “Where’s the beef?” commercials (with an Abe Vigoda cameo!).
This is a movie about killer yogurt. Well, it looks like yogurt at least. You see, an old man was walking around a mining facility one night, and he saw a white goo bubbling out of the ground. He did what any normal person would do in this situation: He stuck his finger in and tastes it. It apparently tastes good, so he figures that if there is enough of it bubbling out of the ground he can sell it to people. We go from here to a little boy’s bedroom. He can’t sleep, so he goes downstairs to get something to eat. He opens the fridge, and there is the white goo slithering into a container labeled “The Stuff”. It turns out that The Stuff is a huge success. Everyone loves it. In fact, people are becoming addicted to it. Stuff stands are open 24 hours, with people flocking to them all the time. The heads of different ice cream companies hire someone to investigate the company that is selling The Stuff to find out what it is. Oh, and did I mention that The Stuff takes over the bodies of those who eat it? Turns them into mindless vessels that are affectionately called Stuffies. That’s all of the story I’m going to give away, because I don’t want to ruin the fun.
This is a movie about killer yogurt. At least, it looks like yogurt. You see, an old man was walking around a mining facility one night, and he saw a white goo bubbling out of the ground. He did what any normal person would do in this situation: He stuck his finger in and tasted it. It apparently tasted good, so he figured that if there was enough of it bubbling out of the ground, he could sell it to people. We go from here to a little boy’s bedroom. He can’t sleep, so he goes downstairs to get something to eat. He opens the fridge, and there is the white goo slithering into a container labeled “The Stuff” (when he saw it move ihntehfergdimerator). It turns out that The Stuff is a huge success. Everyone loves it. In fact, people are becoming addicted to it. Stuff stands are open 24 hours, with people flocking to them all the time. The heads of different ice cream companies hire someone to investigate the company that is selling The Stuff to find out what it is. Oh, and did I mention that The Stuff takes over the bodies of those who eat it? Turns them into mindless vessels that are affectionately called Stuffies. That’s all of the story I’m going to give away, because I don’t want to ruin the fun.
This film doesn't have much in the way of gore, because anytime something happens to a Stuffie, no blood comes out, only The Stuff. Even when a guy gets half of his face punched off. The guy falls over, half of his face gone, and The Stuff gurgles out of his face. There are plenty other instances of The Stuff going into and coming out of people, places, and things, and they all pay off. Sure the effects might not be mind blowing, but they are a lot of fun. In fact, my wife actually enjoyed this movie.
This film really is a prime example of “so bad it’s awesome”. I can’t recommend it highly enough. I know I say that a lot, but I always mean it. Especially with this one. Even the ending is great. It's on Netflix, so you have no excuse not to watch it.
