Bubba Ho-Tep
(MGM, 2002)
Bubba Ho-Tep, for those of you who don’t know, is about Elvis and JKF fighting a mummy. Only, it takes place in a nursing home with an old Elvis, an old wheelchair bound JFK, who also happens to be black now (“They dyed me this color! That's how clever they are!”).
After a short newsreel about a discovery of a mummy, we are treated to our first glimpse of Bruce “I am completely awesome in every way” Campbell in one of his best on screen performances. Elderly Elvis. Go Figure. After the King of Rock'N'Roll does some internal monologuing (mostly about how he hasn't has an erection in years) and the death of the other geezer sharing the room with him, we get our first (albeit off-screen) kill: a mean little old lady who likes to steal things from all the other old fogies living at the wrinkle ranch. Like a pair of glasses off of a lady in an iron lung. We also get a quick glance of the mummy, but only partially.
Left: Bruce as Sebastian as Elvis. Right: Bruce as Elvis. |
Anyhow, this mummy is preying on the elderly, and he sucks the soul out of them… through their butt holes. Yes, their butt holes. This gives butt-chugging an entirely new meaning. And he has plenty of interesting characters to butt-chug. Like the guy who thinks he is the Lone Ranger (even though he doesn't get to butt-chug him).
The movie has an undertone about how being old in a society that values youth, well, sucks. They do a great job in this aspect of the story. You really feel sorry for these people who are stuck in this nursing home and are pretty much defenseless. The movie also has some great humor. Like the Lone Ranger guy trying to shoot the mummy with his cap guns while muttering “asshole, asshole” over and over again.
And I gotta tell you, the best thing about the DVD is the commentary by Elvis himself. Holy crap, Bruce is in fine form throughout the whole thing. I would venture to say that it is even better than the Zombie subtitles from the DVD of Return of the Living Dead.
Hey, if you like crazy horror movies about a mummy who ass-sucks the souls out of people, or you have a hard-on for Bruce Campbell (and let's be honest here, who doesn't), you need to see this movie! Don't make me use myself on ya!
Just remember: “Everything you do is either worthless or sadly amusing.”
Today's music is more from the Dethalbum III: Killstardo Abominate